The Know-It-All Kid

We are commanded by God to love one another. Jesus commanded us to “Love others as I have loved you.”  I have found myself tested on this command many times.  Back in the day when I was helping to carpool neighborhood kids to school, a young teenage boy drove me crazy.  He was know-it-all who had an opinion on everything – and he was never wrong (at least in his own mind).  One day after school, that same young man just assumed that he could catch a ride home with us.  He didn’t ask, he just jumped in the car. I found myself fighting that in my mind.  Resentment began building in me because I felt taken for granted. Consequently, my attitude toward him was terrible. And then the Holy Spirit began to speak to me and convict me. I realized that though I may have come across as loving (because I did drive him home) my attitude was far from perfect.  Lousy might be a better word to describe it.  And so (as I have to do so often) I repented of my sinful thoughts.  Thank you Jesus for forgiveness!

There’s something about our American culture that wants to be appreciated.  We want people to notice us, notice when we do something good or kind.  If you’re at all like me, you hate the feeling of being taken for granted.  It’s really my pride that rises up and reacts.  As I processed through my “loving failure” of that day, I came to the conclusion that Godly love, agape love, doesn’t need appreciation.  It doesn’t crave acknowledgement.  It doesn’t need to be noticed.  It just needs to be given. Lord Jesus, teach me to love others as You loved others. Help me to be compassionate and kind and not judgmental.

Hope in Hopeless Times

It’s fleeting.  Hard to hold onto, it can be lost or even abandoned.  It can vanish in a moment’s time when life turns on a dime.  Without it, our world becomes bleak and void. Without it, we feel lost and alone.  Empty.  Devastated.  Forlorn.  What is this thing that has such an enormous role in our well-being?

Hope.

Hope is a word that is thrown around carelessly.  I hope my team wins the Superbowl.  I hope this dinner tastes good.  I hope the scale reads the number I want to see.  I hope …  This kind of hope is fickle.  But there are times in life when genuine hope is threatened.  Life turns sour.  The sinking feeling of hopelessness leaves us lost and empty.  The enemy of our souls drags our thoughts through dirty, despairing scenarios.  Can you relate? 

But God.  The God of hope.  With God, there is always hope.  When life turns rotten, we can hold on to hope, because God is still God.  He reigns.  He rules.  He knows.  He loves.  We can trust Him.  “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope.’”  Jeremiah 29:11

Fight the Poison of Discouragement

In John 14:1 Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.”  In John 16:33, Jesus also said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have overcome the world.”  So in essence, Jesus lets us know that we will have trouble.  Life will not always be easy or make us happy.  But in the midst of disappointing times, we are not to let our hearts be troubled or distressed.  Said another way, do not let your heart be overcome with discouragement. 

Discouragement says, “I have a distaste for my present, a disgust for my past, and a distrust for my future.”  Discouragement is not from God. In fact, I believe that discouragement is the enemy’s number one weapon used against believers today.  If the enemy can get us muddled in discouragement we become ineffective, self-focused, and unfruitful people. So, we must fight against the poison of discouragement.  We must believe God’s word, stand on it, speak it, and ultimately trust that God will do what He says.   Believe and know that God took care of you yesterday, and He will take care of you today and  tomorrow.  Even in troubling times declare, “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24         

What do You Think About?

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, My God in Him I will trust.’” Ps. 91:1-2

The secret place of God, living under His shadow, is available to us.  Isn’t that amazing?  This verse refers to both the presence and the protection of God.  To live here, to abide here, we must continually set our minds on God.  If you’re anything like me, you are always meditating on something.  I can meditate on my problems, my frustrations, my mistakes and failures, the things that irritate me, or things that make me angry or scared. If I’m not careful, I can find myself meditating on me! Yikes!!

Or, instead I can choose to meditate on the promises of God and sit under His shadow.  Consider these promises - “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.”  Ps. 145:18.  “For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.”  Ps. 90:11 

To live in the secret place of the Most High – meditate on God’s promises, not life’s problems.

Count Your Blessings

There’s an old hymn that says, “Count your blessings, name them one by one.”  I’ve been thinking about that this week.  It is natural for many of us (as well as enemy-driven for most of us) to focus on the negative.  We can spend time fretting over what we don’t have, don’t like, don’t want.  And if we aren’t stressing over what we don’t have, we are worrying about what we do have  - poor health, a troubled marriage, wayward kids, a rude boss, and the list goes on...

I wrote a note to myself this week and put it on my desk.  It simply said, ‘Think about the good things.’  While it is so easy to concentrate on the bad, I found that it takes some effort to focus on the good. 

Scripture tells us (commands us actually) to give thanks in all things. That doesn’t mean that we are to give thanks for all things.  But rather, in spite of all things, we can still give thanks.  Why? Because our trust and hope is in God. And if He is for us, who can be against us? This week I made a list for myself of things that I can (and should be) thankful to God for providing.  I want to live life focused on the good.  I want to be a thankful person.  I want to be a content person; not someone always longing for more.  1 Timothy 6:6, “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.”

The Blame Game

Blame. Isn’t it easy to play the blame game?  In our culture there seems to be a rise in the desire to cast blame on others. No one wants to take responsibility for the different crisis’ affecting our nation. Who do we blame for Covid? Who do we blame for inflation? The border crisis? The rise of violence in our society? Who can we blame? Do we feel better about things if we find someone to blame?

One of my goals as a parent has been to train my boys to take personal responsibility for their actions.  Admitting mistakes is never easy. It requires massive doses of humility.  Why is that? It is because there is something within each of us that wants to defend ourselves, and cover our tracks, so that we can cast off blame.  The root of this is of course pride.   

Humility admits mistakes, takes ownership of failures, and works to learn to make better choices.  I have found that I have learned a whole lot more from my mistakes than my successes.  It is when I fail, own up to my actions, that I see true growth occur in my heart.  It is when I fail, that I find myself drawing nearer to Jesus. In Him I find forgiveness and complete acceptance.  God never called us to be perfect.  He called to be complete.  And it is in Jesus alone, walking with Him, loving Him, and knowing Him, where that completeness lies.  Yes, we want to live a life worthy of the calling of God on our lives.  But saints are the sinners who fall down and get up quickly.   

Hope Again...

I became a Christian when I was three years old.  I have spent most of my life pursuing God, seeking His face, desiring to know Him.  And if there is anything I am certain of, if I believe anything at all, it is this—I believe in Jesus Christ.  I know that my Redeemer lives!  I know He is who He says He is.  I have seen miracles in my own life and miracles happen to others.  I have seen things that are unexplainable apart from God.  Like you I have known suffering, but during these times I have also seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of living.  I have known peace that is beyond human understanding.  I have failed so many times, and yet I have experienced the power of Jesus’ forgiveness.  And in all of this, I have come to have complete confidence in Christ, my Savior. 

As a result, I have hope.  I have hope in God.  I have hope in His promises.  I have hope in the midst of life’s problems.  I have hope in tomorrow because God will be there with me.  So many people today lose hope.  But God says that He is the God of hope.  He wants me to abound in hope.  And as I embrace the hope of the Gospel, I can pray with confidence, knowing that I serve a God who hears.  A God who responds.  A God who cares.  A God who loves.  A God who acts on my behalf.  I have hope in my God.  My Redeemer lives. 

Hope

And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.  But in fact, Christ has been raised from the dead… So you see, just as death came into the world through a man, now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man.  1 Corinthians 15:19-21

If our hope is based on this life only, then we are to be pitied more than anyone else.  But because of Jesus, our hope is in what lies beyond this life.  We have the hope of heaven. Scripture describes heaven as a paradise where there are no more tears, no more sorrow, and no more pain.

Our world is filled with countless tragedies.  But know this, though evil invades this world and does much damage, heaven is place where healing reigns.  In heaven, we will come face to face with Jesus and be consumed by His love.  And Jesus’ love isn’t just limited to heaven.  You can experience His love today.  His love brings comfort, stability, and hope.  In the dark seasons of life, turn to Jesus – He is the light of the world.  Ask Jesus to pour His love on you.

Discouragement

Discouragement – it’s a sickness everyone catches from time to time.  I thought about giving you an official definition of the word from Webster’s Dictionary, but I decided against it because unfortunately, everyone knows what discouragement means and how it feels.  But know this, discouragement is not abnormal.  Biblical heroes such as Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah, and the Apostle Paul struggled with it.  

When things don’t go the way we planned, when people disappoint us and hurt us, when God seems distant, it is easy to get discouraged.  I have walked that path many times.  The Bible tells us to be like King David, a man who encouraged himself in the Lord.  We are told to put on a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.  And Hebrews 3:13 tells us to encourage each other daily.   

Take the time to try to encourage someone today.  Be a builder - build someone up.  It’s so easy to tear someone down - with words, with looks, even in ignorance.  But instead, make a conscious choice to speak life, hope, and love to someone today.  They might just really need it.             

Election Day

Today is election day and, as many have said already, I have never seen the nation more divided. Like you, I have strong opinions about who I want to see elected. I will be happy or very disappointed with the election results as they come in and are reported. But, here’s the thing. No matter who is elected president, no matter what happens with the Senate and House, God is still on the throne. God is King. He is Lord of all. He rules and reigns, and we can trust Him. Psalm 13 says, “But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have been good to me.” Psalm 13:5 NLT

Here is something else to consider. The Bible says, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.” Romans 13:1-2 NKJ This scripture makes it clear that God doesn’t ignore our elections or hope that we pick wisely. Rather, He ordains who becomes president. God is directly involved in it. So, regardless of whether I am happy or unhappy with tonight’s results, I will honor the man elected. I will support him and not slander him. If I can’t find anything to honor about him, then I will honor him for the office that he holds. The Bible says that if I resist the authorities, I am ultimately resisting God Himself. Keep that in mind as you react to today’s results. Again, regardless of what happens, God is still God, and He is in charge. “Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.” 1 Peter 2:17 NASB

What Matters to You, matters to God!

You are child of God.  Is it possible that we have heard that statement so many times that it has lost its impact?  Has it becomes trite and ordinary?  But will you spend a moment thinking about it?  The God of the Universe, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, Jehovah Elyon, Jehovah Jireh has adopted you. You!  He has claimed you as His child.  Think about your children.  Wouldn’t you do most anything to help your child in life?  My children are grown, or nearly so, and yet I sill love to lavish gifts on them! When they are happy and safe, I feel content.  Other people’s kids are great, but nothing compares to our own kids.  They are the apple of our eye.  We love them more than words can express or actions can demonstrate. 

Well, that’s the way God feels about you!  He loves you.  And so what matter to you – matters to God!  Why? Because you’re His kid.  In the book of 1 John 3:1, it says, “The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God.  And we really are His children.”  It’s interesting to me that John feels like he needs to clarify and emphasize his statement.  “We are children of God.  We really are!”  God doesn’t view you as a project, as a mistake, or as an inconvenience.  He views you as a child.  His child! You belong to Him.  What matters to you – matters to God! 

You Will Get Through This!

We are living in trying times. Between the Covid crisis, the racial injustices and the resulting riots, and our own personal “stuff”, many people feel beaten down. Discouragement can set in like wet fog.

God promises, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”  Isaiah 43:2 NLT 

I don’t know about you, but this is not one of my favorite Biblical promises, mostly because it says “when” and not “if.”  When you go through rivers of difficulty, when you walk through the fire…  All of us will go through times in our lives when we are swimming in “rivers of difficulty” or walking through the “fire of oppression.” 

But in these trying times there are three things we must remember and hold onto. First, God promised to be with us. “I will be with you,” Jesus promised.  And in fact, God referred to Himself as Emmanuel - literally the “With Us God.” We are not alone. He has not abandoned us. He is for us and not against us. The second thing we must cling to is that we must know that God has a higher purpose. He has plan. It’s a plan for good and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope. He hasn’t forgotten us. God is the Great Redeemer. He redeems trouble for good.  And finally, know that you will get through this.  “When you walk through…”  You will get through this! Learn to trust Him as you walk through!

How to Respond to the Crisis in our Nation

In James 2:1 Jesus’ brother writes, “My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?” NLT  Many of us might bristle at that statement thinking – I don’t show favoritism. Yet, I think we are all more biased and discriminatory than we realize or are willing to admit. 

In 2020, we spent 3 months in a semi-quarantine state, trying to stay safe in our homes. Isolation may keep our bodies safe but it doesn’t do anything good for our souls.  It was easy to grow increasingly restless, impatient, and irritable.  Were we becoming a ticking time-bomb?  If so, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise that when numerous accounts of vile racism were exposed on national TV, our country erupted with anger. Demonstrations and protests turned violent and ugly. Perhaps, the isolation and frustration caused people to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Tempers flared, hateful words were spoken, and destructive and violent acts were committed. 

Some praised the protesters declaring that only outrage would change the heart of our nation.  Others denounced the riots saying that violence only makes things worse. People on both sides of the debate were convinced that they were the ones in the right. Both sides rose up as judges condemning others who they saw as wrong. 

In the same passage, James wrote “judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”  James 2:13 NIV

As I have prayed for myself and my biases and reactions to the recent events of our nation, I believe the Holy Spirit has led me to pray – Father, help me to be merciful. Instead of being judgmental, make me merciful. Help me to see people through the eyes of mercy.  Help me to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.  Change me from the inside out and do the same for our hurting land.

Let It Rain

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”  Acts 3:19

I love rain.  I especially love rain when we haven’t had any for months.  I love the way it makes everything greener and the way it cools off the temperatures.  And who can resist the fresh smell of rain?  Just as in the natural world we need rain, so in our spiritual lives we need rain.  Spiritual rain heals.  It brings refreshment and hope.  It causes spiritual growth and stimulates healing.  There is a cleansing aspect to spiritual rain.  Father, let it rain on our hearts, our minds, and our emotions. 

With the Covid-19 virus affecting our world, we are walking through a difficult time.  I know that many people have been discouraged and weary, struggling with hopelessness and fear.  But I sense a change is coming.  I believe a time of spiritual rain is upon us.  It’s beginning to rain.  And with this Godly rain, we will find refreshment, encouragement, and new strength.  Droughts only last for a season. They have their purpose.   They cause our spiritual roots to go down deep.  They root out weeds like pride and self-sufficiency.  If we seek God through times of drought, He will make us strong in the Lord.  So, like Elijah in 1 Kings 18, pray for rain.  Look for rain.  Trust God for refreshing rain. So take courage and wait on the Lord. 

Can We Be Friends? (A guide to parenting)

When my kids grow up, I want them to like me and want to spend time with me.  I want to be their friend.   But right now, when they are young, I can’t be their ‘friend’ because I have to be the parent.  I must provide leadership, a voice of authority, and corrective discipline.  In the book of Lamentations 3:25 it says, “It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke in his youth.”  The way I have interpreted this verse is like this:  “It is good for a person to learn to submit when he is young.”  The truth is that it’s easier to learn anything when you’re young. 

As the parent, it is my job to teach my child to submit to the voice of authority – whether mine or someone else’s.  I have to teach my child to obey.  As such, I must give clear direction and expect it to be followed.  If it’s not followed, then I must provide the necessary consequences.  No one likes consequences.  And when my child feels punished by me, I can guarantee that he doesn’t want to be my friend.  All four of my children, at one time or another, have told me that they don’t like me.  But, that’s okay.  I have chosen not to feel threatened or hurt by those statements.  My goal is not to get them to like me – though that is something I truly desire.  My goal is to teach them to obey me, submit to me, so that someday, they will obey and submit to all authority, especially to God Himself.             

Marriage Advice - 101

Since Ken and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary, I have been thinking about marriage. One of the things that I must constantly work on in my marriage is to work on my marriage. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Said another way, I must fight the tendency to get lazy in my marriage. Now, in life I am anything but lazy in life. On a typical day, I can be pulled 100 different directions. I work full-time for the church, I manage our home. I cook. I clean. I mow the lawn. (I love yard work - I actually do!) I do laundry. With four kids, I used to say that I did laundry for a living. (I don’t love laundry!)

Here’s the thing. I can get so busy with various tasks that my husband gets ignored. My marriage can get put on the back burner. I can get lazy in building and protecting my marriage. Proverbs 24:30-34 says, “I walked by the field of a lazy person…I saw that it was overgrown with nettles. It was covered with weeds, and its walls were broken down. Then, as I looked and thought about it, I learned this lesson: A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - then poverty will pounce you like a bandit, scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.”

Just a little sleep, just a little slumber, just a little folding of the hands… and poverty will pounce on you like a bandit. Suddenly, you find that your garden, your life, your marriage is full of weeds. So, here is my Marriage Advice 101 - always, always put effort into your marriage. Be the #1 source of encouragement to your spouse. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Be friendly. Be kind. Be unselfish. Be a good listener. Be a servant. One of the things that I must always work on in my marriage is to work on my marriage.

Our Wedding Anniversary

Today is our Wedding Anniversary. Ken and I have been married 29 years. It’s kind of hard to believe! First Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the love chapter in the Bible. It describes love and makes this very significant statement - “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” In marriage, it’s easy for us to remember the things that have hurt us or ways we’ve been mistreated. We can be good “record keepers.” But over the 29 years of my marriage, I have had to learn forgive and “forget.” I don’t know that we ever truly forget, but we destroy the list of wrongs that we have recorded in our minds.

To drive home my point, here’s a story I heard about toilet paper. It seems kind of fitting to tell a story about toilet paper this year. Toilet paper is something that we took for granted until recently. How many of you have had to go hunting for toilet paper? That is something I never expected to do in my lifetime. Would you agree that we are living in crazy times?

A husband and wife who were having a hard time getting along.  In particular, the husband was irritated because he was the only one who ever changed the toilet paper roll, when it ran empty, to a new roll.  He complained frequently to his wife that she never took the time to change the roll, expecting him to always do it.  She disagreed and said that she changed it as much as he did. 

The husband got so frustrated by this that he decided to start collecting all of the empty toilet paper rolls that he had removed.  He did this for quite some time.  In so doing, his frustration just kept escalating.  One day, he and his wife got into another argument about the toilet paper rolls.  This time, to prove his point, he went and got the large plastic trash liner that he had filled with the left-over toilet paper rolls.  He took his collection and dumped all of the empty rolls at her feet.

She looked at him, said two words, and walked away.  Her two words?   You’re sick.

Would you agree that in the grand scheme of life it doesn’t really matter who changes out the toilet paper roll?  Yet, it is often the relatively minor things that can set us off the most.  One of the lessons that I am slowly learning in life is that I can be right (I change the TP roll way more often than Ken does) or I can be happy.  Right or happy?  Sometimes, you have to choose between the two.

If you are someone who feels the need to prove that you are right all the time, decide if it’s worth it.  Would you rather be right or be happy?  Would you rather demand justice or be filled with contentment?  Do you need your own way all the time or are you willing to compromise?  Do you demand respect or do you pour on love?        

“Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.”   1 Corinthians 13 (NLT)

My conclusion - Love does not keep a bag of used toilet paper rolls.  Love keeps no record of being wronged.   

High School Graduates

It’s a hard time to be a high school senior. Instead of going to Prom, various award ceremonies, and the much anticipated high school graduation ceremony, due to Covid -19, seniors are stuck at home like everyone else. Since most students did not return to school after spring break, many seniors did not get to say goodbye to their friends or their teachers. Right-of-passage events have been cancelled or indefinitely postponed. It feels cruel and unfair.

My dad could relate. He was drafted into the Korean War and had to leave school unexpectedly too. Instead of staying home, he was forced to leave home. Involuntarily joining the army, he found himself with a foreign and unknown existence. It was a hard time in his life. And yet many years later, he proclaimed that being drafted into the army changed his life for the better. See, it was during his time in boot camp that he met other soldiers who introduced him to Jesus. My dad grew up going to church occasionally, but He only knew Jesus as a religious, historical figure. My dad realized that Jesus was so much more. Jesus was the living God, the Savior of the World. From that moment on, my dad’s life radically changed. He had hope and purpose. Even though the future was so uncertain, fear no longer ruled his mind and heart. Instead, he found peace. Peace that is only found in Jesus.

The cancellation of school events has devastated many. I don’t mean to down-play the disappointments that many are facing. It tastes bitter. It hurts. But, remember that God sees the big picture - we only see today and the past. God will use the disappointments and frustrations in our lives for good if we let Him. When my dad was drafted in the army, his future looked bleak. But God had a plan. God has a plan for you too. Ask Him to use the disappointments of today to provide showers of blessing on tomorrow. He will bring beauty for ashes and the oil of joy instead of mourning. Ask Him. Trust Him.

Today is the National Day of Prayer

Charles Spurgeon said, “There is nothing that intercessory prayer cannot do.  Believer, you have a mighty engine in your hands – use it well, use it constantly, use it now.”  

Today is the National Day of Prayer. Usually on this day, we gather with other churches and call out to God together. We can’t do that this year. Our prayer meeting is limited to a Zoom call. But God is not limited by this virus and He moves when we pray.

I think if all of us had a fresh revelation of how powerful prayer really is, we would devote a lot more time to it.  Why don’t we?  Possibly because we are instant society—focused on immediate gratification?  We love fast food restaurants, video on demand, email versus snail mail, and one minute downloads.  We don’t like to wait.  However, when we bring our prayer requests to God, He often requires us to wait.  Have you noticed that too?  And since we hate to wait, and have very little training in it, we assume God is saying no to our prayers, and we give up, subconsciously thinking that our prayer was not effective. 

But, there is power in prayer.  Pray and believe and wait.  That’s what God is asking of us.  Pray for nation. Pray for our economy. Pray for our President and Governor. Pray for our church. Pray for your pastors. Pray for your marriage. Pray for your children. Pray for revival, for healing, for hope.  Pray for an end to this virus. Pray and don’t give up.  Be willing to wait, and keep praying!

Boundaries? Really? (A guide to parenting)

There was a study done a number of years ago where a teacher took her students to a playground that didn’t have any type of enclosed fence. She expected the kids to run free and be wild in the wide open space. But instead, the experiment found that the students tended to huddle around the teacher and didn’t play much in the park.  Then, the same students were taken to a different playground that did have a fence, a defined boundary.  In this situation, the students reacted very differently.  Instead of staying close to their teacher, the children explored and enjoyed every nook and cranny of the playground.  The study results were overwhelming conclusive.  Children felt safer when there were defined, definite, and clear boundaries. 

In a similar vein, a number of years ago, I went to the top of the Empire State Building.  Although I am afraid of heights, the huge rod iron rod fence that surrounded the Observation Deck made me feel safe.  If that fence had not been there, and there was just a 100 floor drop off, I wouldn’t have even considered going out on the Observation Deck.

The point is this - boundaries make us feel safe.  Although someone might argue that boundaries limit us, the truth is that they set us free to explore and yet still feel comfortable.  Children need boundaries.  Said another way, children need rules.  As parents, we need to establish clear expectations so that our children know what behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not.  When boundaries are crossed because of disobedience, then there must be appropriate consequences, or the boundaries are worthless.  To raise healthy and confident children, set boundaries for your kids and work hard to ensure that the rules are followed.