Seasons of Change. (A guide to parenting)

Proverbs 22:6 is a verse I hold near to my heart.  “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” 

Parenting has seasons of joy, seasons of sorrow, seasons of stress, seasons of frustration and always seasons of change. One of the hardest changes for me was taking my first born, Ben, to college and leaving him there. I will never forget watching him stand on the street corner waving goodbye to us. I didn’t want to drive away. It tore at something in my heart. Ken and I cried all the way home. We had spent 18 years teaching him, training him, and coaching him.  Now, we had to let him leave the nest and pray that he will soar.  

Max Lucado wrote, “Straight teeth, straight A’s, or straight posture cannot hold a candle compared to placing a child on the straight spiritual path.  The highest privilege and purpose you have as a parent is to lead your child in the way of Christ.”   Children follow by example.  We must model for them what it means to follow Jesus.  Our words must match our actions.  And more than anything, the best thing we can do for our kids is to pray for them.  God loves them more than we do, and though we aren’t always with them, He is.  Pray.  Pray for your kids every day, whether they are old or young.  Pray and believe.  And then pray some more.

Just Pray?

As a pastor, I relate to many hurting people. Life can be so hard at times.  During this Coronavirus season, I see people hurting everywhere. Some have lost their jobs and lost their hope. Families are struggling with too much together time. Singles and the elderly are lonely. I hurt when people hurt. Frequently, I have told different people that I would pray for them.  And I do diligently pray for a number of people every single day.  But as my heart genuinely hurts for people, sometimes I wish that I could do more for them, more than just pray.  I want to ease their burdens.  But I “resort” to prayer because I can’t think of anything else to do. 

But God has recently exposed to me that my thinking here is wrong.  Instead of viewing prayer as a this-is-all-I-can-do item, I need to view prayer as something enormously powerful and significant.  In fact, it’s the very best thing I can do for people. Prayer moves mountains.  Prayer changes things.  Prayer petitions the Almighty God to act on someone’s behalf.  I can’t change someone’s circumstances, but God can.  I can’t look into the future and know what is best for someone, but God can.  Don’t let the enemy convince you that prayer is a waste of time.  As a believer in Jesus, prayer is the most powerful weapon you have.  Pray often.  Pray fervently.  Just pray! 

What Happened to Easy Street?

I don’t know about you, but I love times of ease. I love it when all my kids are doing well, there is enough money in the bank, no one is sick, everyone likes me…   Those are good times. I love driving down “Easy Street.”  But (and why is there always a but?)  But, my dad, Pastor Paul, made this statement once:  “Strong character and enduring faith do not grow in a climate of ease.” 

Turn on the TV news and you will quickly discover that “Easy Street” has been demolished by a bulldozer name COVID-19. I can easily think back longingly to times when life wasn’t quite so hard or demanding. And although a life of ease sounds wonderful, I realize that the statement my dad made is true.  If my life was always easy, I don’t think I would ever feel the need to trust God.  I don’t think my prayer life would be very vigorous.  I would become very good at trusting in myself and in my own abilities.  But when crisis hits, when life gets hard, suddenly I see my own inadequacies, my failures, and my inability to control my own environment.  Suddenly, my relationship with God, my trust in Him, becomes the center of my focus, the center of my world. And that is exactly where God wants me.  

It is during the hard times, the times of crisis, where I must exercise my muscles of faith and trust in God.  It is during these times where my faith is tested, and it grows, because God proves Himself faithful once again.  “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV

Consider it all Joy

Sometimes life gets tough. Finances are tight, relationships are strained, work is demanding, our health is compromised, God seems distant…  Whatever the cause, life’s road can seem long and steep.  It’s easy to focus on the negative and become completely overwhelmed with the troubles and frustrations. I find this to be especially true as we face a pandemic that has rocked our world. We live in unprecedented times. It’s hard to know what tomorrow holds.

The book of James is one of my favorites. James was Jesus’ half -brother. Even though he grew up with Jesus, he did not believe in Jesus’ Lordship. (See Mark 3:21)  But sometime after Jesus’ death and resurrection, James became a believer and dedicated follower of Christ. And in fact, he became the leader of the church at Jerusalem, making major decisions that affected Christian doctrine for all time.  Talk about a major transformation?  

In his letter, James wrote, “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.”  James 1:2 NLT.  I’m sorry, but, “Are you kidding??”  God is asking us to be joyful about troubles?  Is that even humanly possible?  And the answer is… no, it is not humanly possible.  But, it is divinely possible.   With God, all things are possible.

God is not calling us to have a happy, emotionally joyful response to trials. He is not calling us to rejoice as we see people suffer during this hard season. Rather, He wants us to view troubles as a means for moral and spiritual growth. So we do not rejoice in the trials themselves but in their possible results.  God calls us to look at life’s troubles from His perspective and not just our own limited one.  Put on His glasses, look through His lenses. And in His perspective, He is working all things together for good.  We can trust Him. He is faithful. He hasn’t forgotten us. And we can have joy, even when life spirals out of control, because He is in control of all things.  Don’t focus on the negative. Instead, choose to focus on the good that God will bring from this season.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV            

Contentment

“Godliness is actually a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.”  1 Timothy 6:6 NASB. 

For most of us, 2020 has not been a vision of radiance and pleasure. Instead it’s been a hard season where we have to fight disappointment, frustration, and fear. Paul tells Timothy that we will move forward when we combine Godliness and contentment.  We know we are called to be Godly.  But have you ever felt like contentment is an option, a choice? I don’t know what your personality is like, but for me, contentment doesn’t come naturally.  Instead of just “getting by,” I have felt the Lord tug on my heart and say, “fight for contentment.”

My desire is to wake up every day, even in this hard season of quarantine, and say, “This is the day which the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24.  Very practically, what must I do to live this way?  As I have pondered this question, I have come to the realization that contentment must be rooted and grounded in a trust in God.  I must believe that God is for me and not against me.  He has good plans for me.  He is in control of my life, and I can have hope because He is all-powerful.  In view of this, I must continually give thanks to God for His love, His provision (even when I don’t see it), His care, and His help.  I know this is “back to the basics” stuff, but sometimes we just need to cling to the truth.     

Courage

Gideon was a man who lived in a time when Israel was constantly under attack by the Midianites.   The story goes like this.  The Israelites would plant crops and, just when they were ready to be harvested, thieves from Midian would steal all the produce that the Israelites had worked months to grow.  It was a frustrating and terrible scenario for the Children of Israel.  So God called Gideon to raise up an army to fight these enemies. 

When we are introduced to Gideon in the scripture, an angel of the Lords addresses him and says, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior.”  Judges 6:12.  But truth be told, at that very moment, Gideon was hiding in a wine press, afraid of the Midianites.  O valiant warrior?  Really?  Gideon was a coward.  But you know what, God used him anyway.  Let’s be like Gideon and not give into fear.  Fear can rob us of what God intended to give us.  Let’s trust God in spite of our anxiety and concerns.  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to act in spite of fear.

Do you have hope?

How would you define the word “hope?”   Is it wishful thinking?  Is it saying - I hope this something will happen?  I don’t think this is the way that God defines hope.   I looked up the word hope in Vine’s Bible Dictionary and it said that the definition of hope was “favorable and confident expectation.”  Hope is trusting God in spite of circumstances.  It is having the confident expectation that God will make all things work together for good for those who love Him. 

It’s easy to lose our hope.    The Psalmist wrote, “Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and My God.”  Psalm 42: 5  When we lose our hope, our souls are downcast and discouraged.   It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning and our days are filled with melancholy.  But the Lord tells us what to do about it in this Psalm - put your hope in God.  I think one of the main reasons we lose our hope is because we are hoping in the wrong things.  We place our hope in events and wants instead of in God.   Hope is not longing for some future event.  Rather, it’s having a confidence in life because we know that we serve a God who loves us and will take care of us.  It’s having a firm assurance that God is still God and that will never change. Corrie Ten Boon said, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”  This to me describes hope. 

This Man, Jesus

Author's Note: I was asked to write a piece to share at our Good Friday service. This piece was to focus on the suffering of Christ. So often we are tempted to gloss over the pain that Jesus endured and just skip to the resurrection, to the victory. But in doing so we lose the immensity of the love that He has for us, we water down His sacrifice. May we begin to fully grasp the meaning and wonder of the cross.

This man, Jesus. Perfect and holy. Pure and righteous. Free of any guilt or sin. This man, who stepped down from His heavenly throne, away from His power and authority, to be born of woman. To experience all of the trials, temptations, and pains that come with being fully human.

This man, who cried out to the Father to take this cup from Him. Driven by love chose the Father’s will over His own. He chose us over His own comfort. In every moment, even while praying so intensely that He began to sweat blood, He chose love.

He chose love when He allowed His betrayer to greet Him with a kiss, handing Him over to those who wanted to kill Him. Arrested and put on trial for crimes He didn’t commit. His friends scattered, denied even knowing Him. And still He kept choosing love.

When the crowd mocked Him, He chose love. When they chose Barabbas, a known criminal, to be released instead of Him, He chose love.

With every strike of the whip, ripping His skin open, He chose love. This man, Jesus, beaten beyond recognition, mocked and forced to wear a crown of thorns, kept choosing love.

Sentenced to die a death He did not deserve, He chose love. Bloodied and broken, but still forced to carry His cross to His own execution. And still He chose love.

Nailed to the cross, crying out to God the Father. Feeling forsaken. Bearing the full weight of sin. Their sin. Our sin. My sin. He chose love. He chose us. He chose me.

This man, Jesus. Perfect and holy. Pure and righteous. Free of any guilt or sin. This man, Jesus, who chose us. Who took our sin, who washed us clean, who suffered so that we could be made holy. So that we could be in relationship with Him.

This King, Jesus, who loved us more than His own life. He chose love. He chose us. He chose me.

Be An Encourager

Mother Teresa said: “Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” 

I think people are starving today.  People are starving for encouragement.  Life’s storms throw us around, weigh us down, and can leave us disappointed and disillusioned.  All of us have been at that place at one time or another.  We all need an encouraging word from time to time.  Jesus declared – I give you a new commandment, love one another.  Will you take the time to love someone today?  Offer a kind word.  Give a genuine compliment.  Take the time to listen to someone.  Look someone in the eyes and just smile.  All of these are things are just simple, but they could make a huge difference in someone’s life.  Be an encourager.  Even if it’s not natural for you, be an encourager. 

Mother Teresa said she treated each person as if they were “Jesus in disguise.”  Can you imagine how differently you might treat someone if you lived following her pattern?  “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:11 The Message. 

Count the Cost of Anger

Anger:–noun

     1.  a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong

     2.  wrath, ire

     3.  hostility

I have a hard time watching the evening news these days because we live in such an angry world. Anger seems to be on the upswing with no end in sight. The evening news continually reports that people are angry at our government, angry within our government, angry at anything and everything that doesn’t fit the mold we think should exist. Anger is a powerful emotion. I wonder if anyone has ever counted the cost of anger? What has uncontrolled anger taken away from us? For many, the cost is too large to calculate.

Anger is a powerful motivator.  It is something that all of us feel and struggle with at times.  But how we deal with anger really determines the course of our lives. Uncontrolled anger will poison us from the inside out.

The Scripture says, “Be angry…” Ephesians 4:26a. (That’s not a command that most of us put on our refrigerator.  It just doesn’t sound right, does it?)  As I see it, the Bible acknowledges that we will be angry.  But the command doesn’t stop there.  It says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”  Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB If we could figure out how to consistently obey this command, it would save us a lot of grief.  Wouldn’t you agree?

In this life, we must learn to control our anger or it will control us.  James warns us to be slow to anger.  Lord, will you teach us to walk in self-control when it comes to anger?  Teach us to harness this strong human emotion so that we live righteous lives that please You; lives that don’t bring harm to others.

How Sweet the Sound

We sing the song Amazing Grace.  Are you amazed by grace?   God’s judgment, correction, and life’s consequences make sense to me.  When God poured out fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Red Sea swallowed the Egyptian army, when Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt…  It makes sense.  It’s logical.  But grace?  Grace is anything but fair and logical.  And yet, John teaches that “Of His (Jesus) fullness, we have all received, grace upon grace.”  John 1:14.    Hebrews 8:12 says, “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”  Was God teasing when He wrote these words?  Was He kidding?  Absolutely not!

So, do you walk in grace?  Do you accept God’s forgiveness and in turn forgive others and yourself?  Be amazed again by grace.  God could have poured out wrath on each and every one of us.  Instead, by the blood of Jesus, we are set free and redeemed.  He has removed our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west.  Amazing grace – how sweet the sound…    

Build an Altar?

Do you ever feel like God has forgotten you?  At times, all of us can feel that way.  When prayers aren’t answered or situations go terribly wrong, we can get discouraged and wonder – where is God?  One of the main ways to combat these negative feelings is to reflect on how God has met us and provided for us in the past.  We must continually remind ourselves that God is on His throne, intimately involved in each one of our lives. 

It says of Abraham after he had an encounter with God, that he built an altar there.  “The Lord appeared to Abram and said, ‘To your descendants I will give this land.’  So he built an altar there to the Lord who had appeared to him.” Genesis 12:7  As I see it, Abraham built an altar to remind himself of God’s promise and provision.  In a similar vein, when God moves in our lives in a powerful way, we too must “build an altar.”   Perhaps we build an altar by journaling about our experience.  Or, perhaps we create an altar by sharing our story with a friend or giving a public testimony of how God intervened in our circumstances.  Regardless of how we go about it, like Abraham, we should build altars of remembrance in our lives.  They will help to stabilize our faith and remind us to trust God in difficult times.   

Living as an Overcomer

We are called to be overcomers.  But to be an overcomer, you have to have something to overcome.  I don’t know about you, but my life is not lacking for things to overcome.  David wrote in Psalm 25:17, “The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.”  Can you relate at all? 

I was reminded this week of the story of Jesus raising Jairus’ daughter from the dead.  As Jesus approached her house, the mourners and the wailers cried out in pain and anguish at her death.  A messenger approached Jairus saying, “Don’t bother the Teacher anymore, your daughter is dead.”  I absolutely love Jesus’s response to these messengers of mistruth.   The Bible says, “But Jesus paid no attention to what they said.”  Mark 5:36 NET.  Does that line hit you the way it hits me?  Jesus didn’t pay attention to the negative report, the falsehood, the complaint.  I am convinced that we need to handle life the same way.  Don’t pay attention to the lies of the enemy – where he tries to instill fear, negativity, criticism, anger, hopelessness, frustration, discouragement, or the desire for revenge.  Instead, be an overcomer!  Romans 12:2 commands us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  Set your minds on things above not on the problems of this world. 

Pride and Condemnation

Often when we think about related topics in the scripture, or in life for that matter, we think about joy and happiness, peace and calm, or trust and faith. These are synonyms which highlight their ‘relatedness.’ But opposites can be in the same family as well. Last Sunday, as I was speaking to 2nd service, the Holy Spirit dropped a truth into my spirit – which I spoke about briefly during the sermon, and I’ve continued to ponder it all week. The thing God spoke to me was – though perhaps considered opposites, pride and condemnation are related. They are in the same family – they are sisters.

I have met a lot of people recently who struggle with condemnation. They feel worthless and insignificant. Satan highlights their failures, reminding them again and again of their shortcomings. Comparing themselves to others, those who struggle with condemnation often seem to come up short, at least in their own minds. They beat themselves up – sometimes thinking that’s what God wants.

But, it’s not! God made us in His image. As such, we have worth and significance because we are children of God. All of us fail at times, but God’s promise is that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it. Philippians 1:6

I would urge you to stop comparing yourself to others. The Scripture says, “ Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” Galatians 6:4 NLT God made each of us unique with different giftings and different talents. “God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12:6 NLT Each us of has a unique assignment in life. Purpose in your heart to use whatever gifts God has given you to build His kingdom. Don’t let condemnation steal how God wants to use you.

And consider this – if you struggle a lot with condemnation – take a look at the pride in your life. It is very possible that pride has a bigger voice than you might suspect. Think about it this way. If you turn the pride dial of life a half-turn, pride changes to condemnation. Said another way, they are opposite sides of the same coin. I’m convinced that those who struggle a lot with condemnation also struggle with pride – though they may not know it. See, though pride and condemnation are in the same family, they are uniquely different. Pride is something that is often hidden – we see everyone else’s, but we are blinded to our own. Condemnation, on the other hand, we sense so clearly, we feel so deeply. Yet, other people have no clue of our struggle with self-doubt and self-censure.

As such, God may be allowing you to hear the voices of condemnation to expose the voice of pride that you may not so easily hear. Repent of pride. Repent of condemnation. Neither one of these emotions are God-honoring. Neither please Him. And remember – If you don’t live by the praises of men, you won’t die by their criticisms.